Sunday, May 17, 2009

Here is A Bill With Some Bite! (HeeHee)

Have you heard about the bedbug infestation? ("In hotels, dormitories, and apartment complexes")

Apparently it is running rampant in our country! ("The co-sponsors of this bill include Reps. Don Young , R- Alaska , Ben Chandler , D- Ky. , Bobby L. Rush , D- Ill. , Betty McCollum , D- Minn. , Corrine Brown , D- Fla. , Steve Cohen , D- Tenn. , Brad Miller , D- N.C. , and Eddie Bernice Johnson , D- Texas")

It's the biggest insect outbreak since World War II !

("Those who've suffered outbreaks say that the anxiety it induces can be debilitating. Potter said many sufferers tossed out furniture and could spend thousands of dollars on repeated treatments from pesticide companies. They call him about anxiety, insomnia, shame and the incessant annoyance of itchy red welts on their skin.
"They're, like, ready to blow their brains out," Potter said. "It's emotionally distressing. Anyone that has never had a bedbug problem is not one to judge whether we're dealing with a medical, emotional public health issue.")

Go here - to find out more about it!

(The Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite Act of 2009 - Really?)

And though fleas are the pests you might normally think of when animals are mentioned, that news article reminded me of this:


Excerpts from a Dog's Diary . . .
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary . . .
Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously brain damaged. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now ...

Thanks, Laura for sending me this cute email! It really brightened my day!


Debbie said...

I loved that! The one about the cat was so funny. Thanks for posting that.

Roy said...

Having been around a few dogs and house cats, that might not be too far off.


Cynthia said...

I don't want to discount the importance of bed bugs but I'd rather they spend time fixing all the other stuff they've broken- you know, like the economy etc.

I love that dog/cat viewpoint. My sister has her students type that one in her keyboarding classes.

trublubyu said...

that is so funny! thanks for sharing it!

Kate said...

Great post and very funny.

Melissa said...

This makes me laugh EVERY.TIME!

I love dogs and hate cats so I find it even that much more amusing...

Jan the crazy lady said...

Funny stuff. Government urr....

I hate the thought of bed bugs though.

Spray Way actually has a product that gets rid of that stuff. For motels and such.