Tuesday, January 6, 2009

99 Cool Things I've Done as a Mom.........

So, there is that list of 99 cool things, where you bold the ones you've done, floating around on people's blogs. Another blogger (thanks, Stephanie) thought, "Hey, I should do that." Then she thought, "I'm awfully busy doing other cool "mom" things right now. I'll make my own list." So she did. And now I've copied it and added my own thoughts (not in boldface, in parenthesis) So after you read mine, go post this list on your own blog and bold the ones you've done.

If you make it to number 99, there is a Jewelry Giveaway down there that you can enter.

If you want.

Here's the 99 list...

1. Felt the world shift and change when you held your newborn baby. (best feeling Ever. Big reason why I have seven kids)
2. Thought, "Hey, they didn't tell me about this when I got pregnant." ('cause - when the time is right - they want you to have a family)
3. Given away perfectly good pants because they just don't seem to zip up anymore (but only after I had kept them for 5 years, in the hope)

4. Walked around with snot on your shoulder and pretended it's normal (I'm sure I've walked around with snot on my shoulder. I just didn't notice)
5. Wrestled with a car seat and won (a crying baby and a torn fingernail in the process)
6. Cursed the makers of really loud annoying toys. (Still do. as a g-ma, but I still buy them for those cute babies!)
7. Rocked your baby until she fell asleep, and then kept rocking anyway. (and still kept rocking even when not holding the baby.)

8. Gained superhero kissing powers-- you kiss it, it's okay.
9. Learned the art of counting to three, in a loud, patient voice. (this is one of the few things that actually works for me, and I don't really know why...)
10. Avoided swearing like a pirate when a small child stepped on your bare feet with heavy-heeled princess shoes (usually)
11. Dressed up as a butterfly and floated magically around the room with blanket wings (sorry, but it does sound fun...)
12. Made a tent out of blankets and chairs and crammed your really large body into it. (when I was younger and a little smaller)
13. Learned you really aren't a patient person, but tried to work on it. (I learned that even though I am a patient person, that I can be very impatient at times!)
14. Listened to really bad, heartfelt, vibrato out-of-control, children's music that for some reason your children love. (ever heard the tape "The Muppet's At Christmas with John Denver"? Yeah. I dug it out this Christmas. I think it's going to disappear)
15. Succeeded in doing an awesome hairstyle on a squirming, uncooperative child. (my awesome children's hairstyles are probably below par for most people, though)
16. Decided that bribery really does do the trick. (of course!)
17. Read a Parenting book and thought, "Do they even have children?" (don't wanna go there).
18. Gotten nothing but lessons in patience and enduring to the end from the past 3 years of church. (hall walking right? You go to church only to stay in habit of going, 'cause you're not getting much else out of it...)
19. Allowed others to think you're crazy as you drive down the road doing the actions to "5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed." (or, "The Wheels on the Bus" and the like).
20. Smiled and managed not to punch the people (strangers) without children who give you advice on how to discipline them. (oh, yeah ... but I will take any advice I can get from my family and friends.)
21. Pitied the pioneers, who didn't have movies/television. (actually, movies and TV contribute a lot to our current tribulations, but I know what you mean)
22. Thought sadly about landfills, but put it out of your head by remembering what dunking poopey cloth diapers in the toilet is like. (yeah, did that once and decided to invest in landfills, hahaha).
23. Managed to get the grocery shopping done with one or more children in tow (once my older kids were able to babysit!!) Plus, I have a wonderful husband who likes to grocery shop (But he's never done it with just himself and the kids).
24. Put yourself in time out. (No, but should have plenty of times).
25. Given up career opportunities, wistfully, but gladly.
26. Thought, "This is so worth it. I have the best job ever."
27. Thought, "This is so not worth it. I quit." But went and fixed breakfast and took care of the kids anyway.
28. Heard your child say, "I love you so much!" (Right then it's worth it!!)
29. Watched with delight as your child lurches around the room with their first dinosaur-like steps. (Those are the best days, ever)
30. Ignored your dirty house to play ponies. (or barbies. Or Thomas Train. But you get the idea).
31. Taught a child to use the potty. (And wanted to start an ad campaign with signs posted above every public toilet that read, "If you can use this, thank your mother.")
32. Tried a home business to make just a little extra money. (No, but have had a home-based business with my husband for the last 20 years, where I am the Vice President and Treasurer of our little corporation. Literally).
33. Actually sewn something, that turned out pretty good if no one looked too closely.
34. Played the choo-choo or airplane game to try and convince your child that food is not evil. (Yes. This works!)
35. Slipped, tripped or twisted on a left out toy. (Those dang Lego's!)
36. Fished pennies/small toys/anything small out of your child's mouth, while keeping the panic at bay. (Yep)
37. Lost brain cells while watching a Baby Einstein movie.
38. Wondered where the instruction manual is.
39. Thought that you could improve upon the baby design model by adding three lights on the side of each baby-- one for hungry, one for tired, and one for poopey. (No, but that's a good Idea.)
40. Listened with chagrin as your child repeats your favorite adjectives. (mine are pretty much PG, but still)
41. Crept into their room at night, just to make sure the covers are on and that they're still breathing. (With the first 3. After that, I was just too exhausted)
42. Thought while breastfeeding, "No wonder people get breast implants. My shirts actually fit." (wrote my thoughts, then deleted them: TMI...)
43. Laughed out loud at the optimistic "6 weeks after birth prognosis" by your male doctor. (I actually heal really fast. But I took the 6 weeks, anyway. Please, I needed the sleep.)
44. Learned that you really aren't a pleasant person with only 2 hours of sleep. (Just ask my husband. He agrees with the 6 week idea completely)
45. Tried to explain why clothing is mandatory. (especially in the winter. We live in north Idaho...)
46. Had to eat your words because, "I would never do it that way," but then you do. (I have very wise parents. I need to do it more the way they did)
47. Called Poison Control. (No, but had to take the same 2-year-old boy to the Immediate Care twice the same day. They really do watch to see if your child is afraid of you, the second time).
48. Left the store without buying anything because your child is screaming. (Yes)
49. Had to apologize to a stranger. (yes, but I've blocked the details).
50. Wanted to petition that handicap stalls also be available to mothers with 2 or more children under the age of 6. (But I have always used them anyway. What other stall can you get the shopping cart in to? Do you think moms should leave the kiddies out in the aisle while they pee? Um, Child Neglect...)
51. Said, "That's not funny," when really, if you weren't the parent, it was funny. (For sure).
52. Felt extreme anger at another child when they hurt your child. (but I'm sure it's been the other way around more times than I want to admit)
53. Cleaned up throw up more times than you wish to count. (While retching, at first.)
54. Eaten a soggy cracker. (a graham cracker, on accident).
55. Thought sadly of hungry people as you scraped your child's uneaten food into the garbage. (and my dad, who always made us eat everything on our plates. See #46).
56. Threatened to do something awful (and untrue) like leave your child at WalMart, or cut off their toe if they didn't stop misbehaving. (I don't know anyone who hasn't-but I did feel really bad)
57. Even though you vowed never to say it, yelled, "Because I said so." (I never vowed never to say that).
58. Not left the house for three or more days. (Not till this winter)
59. Discussed buying stock in paper towels, wipes and diaper companies.
60. Conversed with other adults about poop, drool, and snot.
61. Thought, "My gosh. My children are the most adorable things in the entire world."
62. Smiled when your kids hugged each other.
63. Thrown away Halloween candy (after fishing out all the chocolate bars). (It's usually gone in 3 days).
64. Realized the true use of a timer is not for baking.
65. Thought, "Isn't there at least some period of their lives where they adore me and listen to what I say?" (once they're married, they finally do! Sometimes).
66. Cried and cried, because you feel like you're just not cut out for this sort of thing.
67. Felt triumphant when your child spelled their name without prompting to your now impressed neighbor/relative/friend. (They can spell their name, but this particular thing has never happened.)
68. Put on boots, coats, hats, gloves and snow pants and just as you're walking out the door hear a rumbling from your child that indicates severe diaper problems, or having your older child say, "I have to go to the bathroom." (Then you learn to ask (or just wait) first, put on snow gear later. Way later.)
69. Realized that children's books are sometimes written for adults.
70. Had to remind yourself not to talk in a sing-songy, super calm happy voice when speaking to other adults. (Who does this happen to??)
71. Sometimes the only constant in your day is that it will eventually end. (yes!, it will end)
72. Discovered that a really childproof room is empty and padded and only exists in insane asylums. (If we ever build a house, it will have one, for the grandkids and Tanner, along with a cement floor in the dining room, with a drain under the table.)
73. Had to backpedal quickly when you told your child not to do something and they said, "But Mommy, you do it." (They've never actually said it. But they have looked at me funny a few times).
74. Dug out a sliver.
75. Been ignored. Over and over. (To be fair, I ignore right back).
76. Felt that if you get climbed on one more time you might have to become a hermit.
77. Laughed (with just a bit of hysteria) at the magazine picture of well-behaved children that put together beautiful crafts.
78. Gotten an unexpected kiss and a hug.
79. Had your heart melt when you hear, "Hold me, hold me."
80. Cleaned up a blow out diaper, and managed to salvage the onesie. (yes!)
81. Thought, "Oh, my parents were right." (See #46).
82. Prayed really hard that you're raising them to be good, thoughtful, happy people.
83. Hoped they won't remember the time you accidentally dropped/forgot about them.
84. Hoped they will remember the times you read stories/sang/played with them.
85. Felt like the Wicked Witch of the West. (Daily)
86. Given an Eskimo kiss. (Those are the best)
87. Felt your heart strings tug when they first let go of your hand to venture off on their own.
88. Pretended you liked something just to get your kid to eat/do it. (I usually like what I'm trying to get my kids eat or do - is that wrong?)
89. Wore matching outfits with your kids and thought it was awesome. (easter Sunday, with Kayla and Rachel).
90. Tried to keep the car nice by not allowing food, then gave up and tossed food randomly at your children in an effort to quiet them.
91. Heard your child yell excitedly, "Mommy!" when you walk into the room.
92. Caused extreme giggling (on purpose).
93. Vanquished a monster with a spray bottle.
94. Answered "Why?" questions with preposterous and crazy answers but still not managed to stop the "Why?"s from coming. (I don't have that much imagination).
95. Bought a really padded bra for protection from elbows and other stray limbs. (Bought one, but not for that reason. See #42)
96. Played the, "I'm going to hide in the _____" version of Hide and Seek. No, but that's a good idea).
97. Learned to traverse the kitchen with a small child clinging to your legs and the phone on your shoulder.
98. Told yourself, "This is for her own good."
99. Known this is the best and hardest job in the world. (But wished for paid time off). (For Sure).

I am surprised that I have done so many of these. And forgive me for some of my snarky answers. I should know better than to do one of these when I have been cooped up most of Christmas vacation...

Now, you can go to Jeannie's Happy World, where she is doing that Jewelry Giveaway. Cool stuff, too. If you like to do that type of thing.


McEwens said...

I am laughing my fool head off here!!! I have done/said most if these!! Great post!

LyndiLou said...

These are great! :) I have a LOT to look forward too with my new little one! I know jUUUst what you're talking about with the "baking" timer though! My Mom put ours to GOOD use when we were little! :P

R Max said...

I totally agree! Except for the wore matching clothes thing - I'm not that weird.

And, I am the wicked witch of the west - ALL THE TIME

Loralee and the gang... said...

Hey! You calling me weird, girl?
Well, you gotta realize this was such a 90's thing - 1994 to be exact, when they were 18 months and 8 years old. I'd never do it again, for sure! (Nor would they, since they are 22 and 15. Unless we started a girl band...yeah, right!)

R Max said...

I'm nothing if not obliging... (see my fabulous face one on your followers list)

Yeah, the matching clothes with my kids thing... I was really not being completely honest. The fact is, I am a hopeless and incompetent sewer and I can't make "matching" anything.
But don't tell anyone. It would remove me from the "perfect mother" list.

Jessica said...

What a great list! I loved reading that. I don't have girls so some didn't apply, but I sadly identified with so much! ( =


Messy Jess said...

wow, I've missed out on a lot of your great posts - I'm so glad I discovered that I wasn't following you when I thought I was! Too funny.